I have a constant battle that occurs in my mind. I try desperately not to let it steep out, but it is every present. The battle goes something like this:
I want to savor my life. All the small moments matter. All the things that are intangible hold great significance. Those pieces that make up each day…those matter.
But I also want to be “caught up.” I want to feel like my ever-present to-do list is complete…or at least complete enough.
Each weekend I spend time thinking about how I can procrastinate just one thing, how it will be okay on Monday morning if this thing is not done. I convince myself I need to spend more time with my family, that my daughter only has 3 1/2 more years left to live with us.
So you see, the dilemma is rich and is a no-win set up: if I savor, there is no time because I am catching up. If I am “caught up” there is no time to savor because I’m constantly working.
So how about this? I don’t procrastinate. I savor my moments when they come, and I get done what I can. This feels so much kinder and gentler. After all, why does it HAVE to be one or the other?
Please comment on how you survive this dilemma in your own life.